Swicherooni
by munkie
Summary: let's see *looks at title* some one switches shome thing? fred and georges socks? no. let;'s see...
1. Chapter one-fun fun fun 'cuz it's some o...

I awoke to the sight of Ron looking down, into my face. Glancing out the window, I saw a crisp autumn day awaiting me. The window was in an odd spot, but I guess I was twisting around at night.  
"Get out of the girls room, Ron," I said groggily. He looked at me quizzically-I wonder why. My body felt as if, during the night, it had been beaten by bludgers. I wasn't that far off.  
"Come on, just because last night we were experimenting on the quidditch equipment with Fr…"  
"What?!" I screamed, surprised that my voice wasn't screechy and rather deeper than usual. Hmm, I thought, I must be getting a sore throat. Wait. Oh man. Ron, window, voice, bludgers? I'm in a guy's body! I look down. Whew! Fully dressed.   
Ron obviously didn't sense the shock in my, or rather, the body's face, so he continued, speaking slowly as though I didn't understand him. "We (pause) put (pause) spells (pause) on (pause) cannonballs (pause) to (pause) make (pause) them (pause) fly (pause) like (pause) bludgers (pause) in (pause) our (pause) game ,(pause) yesterday. Sheesh, Harry! Good thing you dressed last night." Very good thing I'm dressed. Hold on. Pause. Rewind. Harry?! " We're gonna be late to Kings Cross again if you don't hurry." I groaned: if I'm in Harry's body, is he in mine? And I didn't even change ahead of time.  
" Harry!" I screamed. Ron burst out laughing, "You're Harry," he sputtered between chuckles. 


	2. Ronni

Chapter two, Ron's P of View  
(hey! it rhymes!)  
For some reason, Harry called for himself; Hermione came into the room, bagel in hand. "What?" She looked at Harry, dropped the bagel and fled. Seconds later, my best friend leapt up, followed the girl I thought I liked (, like liked,) and started whispering into her ear.  
"Hermione!" I called, and, for some reason, Harry looked into the room. 


	3. Har-ry

Chapter 3,Harry's see?(it rhymes!)  
Sometimes, I used to wonder what it's like to be a girl. I guess I know now, but seeing myself in my room at the Weasley's house (the Burrow) sitting with Ron? No.   
Actually, the first thing I did was to get some breakfast: I was famished. I hadn't realized about my (, eh hem,) change until Mrs. Weasly said a cheery hello to Hermione, while looking at me. When I heard my voice, I didn't freak out. When I realized it was calling me, and saw myself, you can bet 50 galleons that I did. 


	4. Ron

Ron's point of view(one more review till i post the next chapter  
They must think I'm stupid. Sure, we got to the Scarlet Express and to Hogwarts, but it most definitely is not the same. Every time they're together, they steal glances at each other, then at my puzzled face and start laughing. Like I don't notice that suddenly, I've become the third wheel. The two people closest have been infected: he's barely ever not in the library, while Hermione is always on the quidditch field. They've talked to Dumbledore, and McGonagall, but what does that have to do with anything? Harry, instead of doing what he has done for the four other years that we were roommates, goes to Hermione to change, everyday! Blimey do I ever want to know what's going on. One might call me spiteful, but I told the twins that Harry and Hermione were a couple- what else would explain it? 


	5. Hermi!

From Hermione  
Fred and George heard a nasty rumor. Har, no- I mean Hermione and I? Dating? I think that Ron started it: every time I ask Harry about the details of the spell or have an idea for reversing it, he casts dark looks at us. If looks could kill, both my body, and the one I'm in would be on their deathbeds.   
Dumbldore arranged a spell for us to be able to change each other without, er, revealing anything. Until the switch spell is off, no one can see either of us completely undressed. (I can see my body, not Harry's and vice verso.) It's already October and nothing's being done! Sometimes I look at Harry in the mirror and think that things would be easier if we got married…then realize what I'm imagining and wake from my daze. 


	6. 

Har-ry!  
I was thinking about "Moody"'s classes last year. And about Fudge not believing that Voldemort was coming back. It would make sense, right? Fudge wasn't acting quite normal when he came to see me when Ron and I were heading to the nearby quidditch field. Anyway, we're meeting him before the All Hallows Eve Ball. I'm going with myself, I guess you could say. I'll tell Herm. 


	7. 

It must have been hard for the people who don't know about our, uh, circumstances to believe. Harry Potter, the world famous legend accepted the invitation to go to a ball from the school smartest, and geekiest girl who, last year, was just a friend that was to be used when his first choice turned him down. Fudge is going to be there; I guess we could ask him what tot do.  
Dinner today was odd. Professor McGonagall announced that, for only the second time in history, a wizard was found in America, and, because Hogwarts is the only other English speaking school, she'll come here. The first was a medicine man in New Mexico who died after coming here; that was in 1782,but I can't believe that Harry and Ron didn't know that. Honestly! Am I the only one who read Hogwarts: A History? 


	8. 

I'm at my wits end! Hermione invited Harry to the ball? That's just wrong. I am about to do something so shocking, that even I can't believe it will occur. See, possibly, if I kiss Hermione, maybe she'll see how horrible things have really gotten. I don't know-maybe I'm just jealous. The worst part is that, after last year, I was planning to ask her myself, and not just as a last resort.   
Anyway, the American came today-how she got here, the world may never know. Her name is Desdemona and she will go into the forth year, but will be in fifth year classes (she's only fourteen). I simply cannot wait to see her sorted! I volunteered to show her around, but, Harry being so famous, it was he who got to. I haven't heard her talk yet, though; maybe she's mute, or is embarrassed about her accent. She read so many books about witchcraft that she was bound to pick some of it up. I heard that, when she was a child, she stumbled upon a magic library in her basement (A/N-like a character in Diane Duane's book SO YOU WANT TO BE A WIZARD-read it!). She is an excellent spell writer. Her hair was short, but it was a lovely pale brown color and her eyes were green as moss with a ring of golden flames surrounding a black pool into which one can stare yet never see the bottom. Maybe I'll write a poem. Hermione infected me too: I read a book, Page, and now, I always remember parts of it; I'm like Nealan of Queenscove-the admirer of beauties who isn't brave enough as to present them with the poems he writes. I think I'll reconsider my plan. 


	9. 

I was thinking. Big surprise. Actually, I've been in Hermione's body so long that I might as well start unpacking her things. I asked her roommates, pretending I forgot where "I" put my things. I found her diary. Blank. Oh, well, maybe she was going to write stories in it but hadn't started. When I was just about done with her suitcase, I saw that the girl in the bed next to Hermione's had poppies-apparently I was allergic because I started sneezing. Pop! The writing appears in the diary. Being practically bored out of my mind and not having any weekend homework, I read:  
July 24  
I had a dream that our experiences at Hogwarts were kept in seven books: four were done and the fifth was just starting.  
Ron invited me over again this summer and since my parents didn't quite enjoy the magical barrier they couldn't get through, they let me go.  
  
July 25  
It was so hilarious- Mr. Weasley at my father's dental office!   
We arrived without incident at the Burrow and had a full meal at an overly full table. The potato bowl actually fell off, but between us, we "Wingardium Leviosa"ed it back up. Naturally, I received a citation.  
Harry arrived to day: It was the second time that Fred and George drove the flying car and got caught, but at least their dad knew about it.  
Anyway, I wonder who our DADA teacher will be. Maybe it will be the Mrs. Figg, but I can't believe Harry said she's his babysitter and yet Professor Dumbledore mentioned her to be "part of the old gang; in my dream, that would have been on (about) the two hundred seventy-third page. I have heard of another woman who might take the job: Professor Rowling. I haven't gotten any information about her other than the fact that she wants to be Harry's biographer.  
Uh oh. 


	10. 

It's a week before Halloween; our DADA teacher still hasn't arrived. At least Professor Dumbledore has confirmed who it is. 


	11. 

The trio of friends was walking down to Muggle Studies: true, none of them had originally signed up for the class, but with no teacher where they were assigned to be, they students were permitted to roam into other courses.  
"I can't believe who it is, "Harry confessed.  
"Yeah, considering most people thought she had died," Said Hermione.  
"I for one," started Ron, " can't see what the e big deal is abou- Hi!" Harry and Hermione didn't even turn their heads to see who it was; they rolled their eyes, grabbed Ron's sleeve, and trudged on.  
"Like I was saying," spoke Ron while trying his best not to fall on his face, so the lady has air in her heart, so what?" Harry and Hermione looked at each other and, once more, burst out laughing. Either they have more secrets from me, my tripping became hilarious to them, or I said some thing wrong, thought Ron.  
"Amelia Earhart is a pilot, Ron, it's a common rumor, which by the way, I'll have to ask her about, that she flew over the Bermuda Triangle and confronted a dark wizard who turned out to be a close follower in his early stages of climbing the ladder to evil. She was trapped for 50 years! Honestly, Ron, do you ever read?!"  
"Bermoo da triangle? I knew you like geometry, but really!"  
Clearly, Harry was laughing , " Ron, don't you know about Voldemort's Triangle? Where the wizards go for their first test (lol) at becoming one of his inner ring?"  
  
AN- 3 more review before my next chapter comes up,and they better not be just"it was good." 


	12. 

(During the Halloween Ball)  
Desdemona was coming up to us; what she wanted, I don't know, but the glint in her eyes told me that I was about to be very uncomfortable. She kissed me and said, "November 1st. Library. Bring your friends." Either she was interested in Hermione or she knew something. Neither was appealing. Obviously, no one but my "date" and I saw. People did see, however. That, in their eyes, Harry was getting dipped during dances and Hermione was pigging out all the time other than during the dancing.  
It's really weird wearing a dress. I mean, let's say you're standing over the air conditioning vent: it gets cold down there.  
I think Ron's date has an invisibility cloak on. Poor guy- glancing in our direction all night.  
***  
Fudge picks the worst times to show up. Just when I thought Hermione and I were going to kiss, they announce that the two of us should go up to Dumbledore's.   
I can't believe it's past 12 on Halloween.  
It must be easy to make portkeys. As soon as I touched the gargoyle, Hermione, whose hand I was holding, and I were transported to the library. Of all people, Desdemona bound us to a rotating bookshelf. She faced me, which was odd considering the switch.  
"Harry, you I'm going to say something that my father said, oh, about three years ago. Then , like any villain, I plan to gloat  
"Now, Harry," she said it with such scorn that I couldn't help but flinch, "I may not be your past, but I most certainly am your present and future. Pettigrew is not after all such a dolt as you may have thought. For one, did you know that he" she spoke in a way that made me visualize the quotation marks, "was a she. My mother, in fact; a year after Voldemort's downfall,, my dear mum cloned a piece of and, ta-da, here I am. You do know that my daddy is rising don't you? IMPERIO!" I had to nod. "Better. Before he regains his strength, don't you think that I would want to get my vengeance on the person who took him away?  
" The 'Menyisa Phisica' spell was easy enough, and to make up for, or increase, it's your choice, really, one of you receives a get out of jail free pass so here it is." She stopped pacing and spun the bookshelf. How many times I went around is beyond me-I closed my eyes to avoid motion sickness.   
"Slowlius Morti" Desdemona incanted. I took a peep- at least it wasn't   
"AVADA KEVADARA!" shouted my body, once we were released, then ran to hug me, then to the common room.  
***  
That night, or morning rather, as I was brushing my teeth, I was shocked to receive an angry glare from Ron, even more when I realized that he was in the girl's bathroom. Then "Harry" came in , saying, "Come on Ron! Nothing happened."  
Ron spun around. " Really? Because people get suspicious when his two best friends are about to kiss, then run of for hours." I was puzzled.  
"Hours? Didn't you hear the announcement Ron?" I asked. He burst out laughing bitterly.  
"Announcing what?" he put on the monotonous voice of the newscaster, " Now, Ron's heart has officially broken because the girl that he thought he loved ran off with his best friend? No."  
I need to sit down. My limbs feel too heavy. I collapsed by the bathtub, barely conscious. Above me, my face seemed to morph into Hermione's  
"Harry," he said, "you don't look too good- you're the color of snow." Ron started splashing cold water on my face (the reality hadn't sunk in). I am just so tired. My eyes close and my breath rattles in my chest." Herm," I whispered, "I think I love you."  
  
There were tears in her eyes and the next time she looked down, there was no scar.  
  
  
  
  
  
a/n review or else no more! 


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